25 Oct 09 - thinking aloud

I have always thought of myself as a feminist since I believe in equal rights for men and women. But...somehow its getting on my nerves that my BIL still doesn't have a job, a couple of months after losing his job.

I am thinking that if it was the other way around, I probably wouldn't feel the same way.

Am I wrong in feeling that he should step-up his efforts for finding a job since he has a history of saying goodbyes to jobs at the drop of a hat and then living on his wife's income for not a few weeks, not a few months but a few years after that.

Or should I be thankful that atleast now he cleans up the house and picks up their daughter on time, and doesn't get drunk the first in the morning ( as he used to) or for that matter, doesn't get drunk at all ? But cooking is something that my sis still does even if she arrives home from work at 8 in the evening ! Previously, in India, he used to sleep all day while my dad picked up my niece from school and my sister would come back from work and do the whole household work (don't know why she didn't keep a maid ).

It also annoys me that he is continuing his recently acquired habit of smoking, smoking away his wife's hard earned money.

The irony is, I would have been perfectly ok if the roles were reversed ! May be because knowing my sister, I know that she wouldn't sit at home dependent on her husband's salary a single day more than she would absolutely need to. Not that she ever got that luxury..she has said it a lot of times in the past that she is tired of being the sole earner for most of the years since their marriage ( they have been married for 8 yrs now) and would love for her husband to take that responsibility so that she can stay at home or may be work part-time while her husband provides a decent life to them for a change.

17Oct 09 - The rules that even I was unaware of !

Yesterday me and D had a fight over a really silly thing. While I sat sulking in my room, D went out somewhere to cool off, hopefully :D

Anyway... while I was still sulking, Bubbles and Bugs came to my room and sat close to me. I am not sure what I asked, but this is how my conversation with Bubbles went:

Bubbles: Mum, do you know that there are two rules of the house when you and dad are fighting ?

Me( totally taken by surpirse): really ?? there are rules for when mum and dad are fighting ????

wow. this shows how much I know about my children.....NOT.

Bugs: No, no Bubbles. Nope. Be quiet.

Me: No no that's ok Bubbles, you can tell me anything.

Bugs ( covering his ears with his palms): Don't say it Bubbles !

ME: Oh c'mon, you can tell me. ( I really wanted to know what rules they have made for themselves - this was really interesting!!)

Bugs: I don't want to hear this.

Bubbles: Ok. Bhaiyya made two rules alright ? He said that when mum and dad fight:

First, dont speak unless spoken to.

second, immediately start listening to what bhaiyya says. (??????????????)

Bubbles: remember when you and dad were fighting and bhaiyya poked me with his elbow and took me into his room.

Me: hmmmm ( though I couldn't recollect that at all)

Bubbles: he poked me and took me quietly into his room to remind me about the rules and that I must listen to him untill you both are fighting. He then took me upstairs and we had our dinner. Remember when you came upstairs bhaiyya was just about finishing his dinner ??

I didn't know what to say? Apparently these rules have been in place for a long time now !!!! And we don't even fight that much !! God, what else don't I know ????

Happy Diwali everyone !!!

Oh, BTW, when we went shopping today, I bought a dress for myself. Thought about my sis A and on impulse, bought another similar dress with different colour combination for her !! I also bought a nice black colour kurta for D and a black one for A's husband ! Went to their house and gave the clothes to them but didn't tell them that we bought exactly the same clothes but just different colours for us !!!!!!!!!!!! We are celebrating Diwali together at my place. It will be interesting if they both wear the same clothes tomorrow and come to our house. Their reactions to see us in same clothes will be worth remembering !!

But .............what was I thinking ?? I think, the last time we sisters would have worn same clothes must have been about 25yrs back !!!!

This is the first time in years that I am not throwing a Diwali party at my place. That has been the tradition among our friend circle for last 13yrs. Why not this time ?? will write about it some other time :-)

Wishing again a very happy, prosperous and green ( fireworks-less) Diwali to everyone!! I am going to do my best to not light any fireworks this Diwali - not that we have many , just a few leftovers from last years GuyFox day ! But hopefully, this Guyfox day we wont buy and store fireworks for next Diwali !!

07 Oct 09 - Bubbles and Karwa Chowth

This morning's conversation:

Bubbles: Mum, is there some Indian festival today ?
Me: Yep, its Karwa Chowth

Bubbles: What's that?
Me: On this day women fast for the long life of their husbands.

Bubbles: So are you fasting for dad's long life then ?
Me: No. I am not.

Bubbles: Why ? Dont you want dad to have a long life ?
Me: I do. But how is that related to me staying hungry?

Bubbles: Because God said so.
Me ( God! Why do these little ones ask so many questions??): Look, I don't know what God said or didn't say, but I don't think that God wants any of us to stay hungry to please him/her to get something from him/her. Now, why don't you run along and get ready if you want to get some books from the library !

Phew!!!

30 Sep 09 - update on the last post

Thanks for you all who thought about me and my family. Wanted to update for all of you who were concerned - yes, we are all safe ! But it was a close call !!! Phew !!!!!!

Tsunami is my worst nightmare. I have talked to D a lot of times about this fear of mine specially since we bought this house and he has everytime reassured me that we are a good 50-100 mtrs above the sea level. Somehow I have never been able to believe it since it looks so close and is only a slope away from us :-(

I think that I can deal with other natural disasters more confidentally than a Tsunami. The houses here are designed with earthquakes in mind. So I feel that as long as I have an emergency kit to survive for three days as per the Ministry of Civil Defence, we should be fine ( that emergency kit is still a work in progress though ). But tsunami destroys everything not just buildings, it will flush you away and your belongings including your emergency kit. The only solace is that there would be enough warning to evacuate, hopefully.

So when I woke up to the news that thanks to a massive EQ in American Samoa, NZ has a potential threat of a tsunami, and both my children away from home, you can't imagine how panicked I got ! All the news clips from that Boxing day's devastating Tsunami in 2006 kept flashing in my mind. Even the weather got really spooky ! I sat glued to the TV most of the day, listening to any intructions issued by CD.

Last time it happened three years ago, the alert was called off within half hour but this time the whole country was going to be affected and the whole Civil Defence was moved into top gear, with Tsunami sirens going off in a lot of areas and my husband and rest of the team getting instructions to be on standby and that they are being connected straight with Civil Defence. They downgraded it close to afternoon but within half hour it was upgraded to a potential threat again. At that point, D was asked to come back to office as well and he decided to pick Bugs and bring him home as Bugs was with a friend with a fifteen year old looking after them during the day. We thought that since Bubbles was at my sister's place she would be safer there as its more in-land !

The waves weren't as destructive as anticipated ( Thank God ! ) because it coincided with low tide ! Well, whatever the reason, the warning was later uplifted close to evening but people were instructed to stay away from beaches for atleast next 24hrs.

The scare reminds me that I still have to pack another bag with warm and waterproof clothes to go with the emergency kit incase of an immediate evacuation instructions. And for my other kit I still have to put a torch, some more tin food, and platic bags and may be some more bottled water.

That was a scare that I don't want to go through again. Ever.

Thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you again for enquiring about us !

30 Sep 2009 - Tsunami Warning

http://nz.news.yahoo.com/a/-/top-stories/6125528/tsunami-warning-issued-for-nz/

I hate these news specially since I live so close to the sea ( our house has sea views and sea is at walkable distance).

Bugs and Bubbles are at my friend's and my sister's place respectively. They went for sleep over. D had left for work at 6.00am in the morning. I woke up at 7.45am. Made tea and turned on the laptop at 8.00am. A Tsunami warning issued by NZ Civil Defence throughout the NZ coast was staring at me. That was issued at 7.30am !

I quickly rang my sister and all my friends being pretty sure that they wouldn't have heard it yet as its school holidays on and their TVs must be occupied by kids. Only one was aware of the warning and had her tv on. As per the latest update, its going to hit NZ's eastcoast in about one and half hours 'if' it hits. Auckland will be struck at 11.15am ! The earthquake in Samoa had been upgraded since I had started listening to news and there has been tsunami recorded.

I am scared, called D and asked him to stay close to home and may be I should get kids home.....

Well, I am praying and if this blog doesn't get updated again......you would know........

A few years ago there was a warning issued and everyone called everyone at 6am to let them know that its going to hit in 2 hrs. But thankfully that warning was withdrawn within half an hour. I am hoping that the same will happen now.

PS: Another update from civil defense -the east coast fire services have already activated tsunami alarms as I am typing this line !!!!

PS1: ( 10.33am) Its striking Auckland in 45mins. D just picked up Bugs and dropped him home as his office called off all of their employees working close to beaches, back to the office. He called me and said that he is getting Bugs home as whole of the civil defense is on full alert for a full scale emergency now with all the emergency services on standby now. The one that hit the east coast didn't do that much damage apparently and was about a metre high but the Auckland one is supposed to be more than that. The velocity of the water is going to increase considerably and its probably going to affect about a kilometre in land. But no one is 100% sure yet. Its all a wait and watch game now. Fingers crossed.

Job by chance

Do you believe in luck ? Being at the right place at right time is what I call luck. That's the only part it plays and from then on its about skills and hard work. But it is a BIG part, don't you agree?

Last weekend me and my sister 'A' went to the 'flee market' to get some fruit and veges for the week. There 'A' met a friend of hers and told me her story. 'A' works at the same educational institute she graduated from last March. And same as her, there are many students who are doing that course so that they can apply for Permanent Residency after finding work. Work is what is in such a short supply these days isn't it.

Anyway, she told me about this girl we met at the market. She said that this woman ( who was a student of the same institute and that's how my sister knows her) had recently arrived from India and was looking for a job after finishing her course but wasn't getting anywhere due to recession. The other day after some shopping in the mall close to her home, she bought herself a cup of coffee and sat on a bench in the mall to rest her feet. Behind her, there were two other woman sitting and she could hear that one was interviewing other for a position in a small call centre. Once the interview was finished and the applicant was gone, she turned back and asked the lady if she was interviewing and that she can answer the questions that the applicant couldn't. The employer lady, quickly took her instant interview and offered her the job at the same time !!

Can you imagine this woman's happiness ? Here she was applying to every consultant and responding to every job in the news paper and how she gets one is while sitting on a bench, sipping coffee in a mall. Offcourse she demonstrated her skills otherwise she wouldn't have got it but that's the chance people wait for. 'A' told me that after working there for 6 months, that woman now has a job in IT field in line with the course she did !!

I feel so happy when I hear of such stories. Though it has never happened to me yet, but I have seen people getting jobs in the most unusual circumstances.

A few years back, we had this Indian neighbour who was also in IT industry but was doing odd jobs here and looking unsuccessfully for work in IT. He went to India, got married and brought back with him this extremely shy, quiet wife on a visitors visa while he already applied for her Permanent Residency based on his own PR status here. Now this girl was learning kiwi accent from Bugs who was only three at that time !

Just a few days after her arrival, her husband got a call for interview in a well established IT company. He thought he will take his wife along with him for the interview so that they can go shopping together after his interview.

While he was in the interview room and his wife was waiting in the reception, this gentleman came wandering in the reception area and got talking to her. She told him that she is here with her husband who is interviewing at the moment and she is a recent arrival here in NZ. He casually asked about her qualifications. When she told that she is a qualified programmer as well, he asked her if she would like to give a test too. She agreed, gave the test in another room while her husband was giving his test. Then both the husband and wife came home smiling, telling us that they both got the jobs !!

I love such stories. They inspire you to believe that never stop trying. You never know when you are at the right place, things can happen to you when you least expect it, even jobs can happen to you when you least expect it !

Do you know of any such 'job' stories ?

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22 Sep 09 - Mum or computer ?

Friday evening, Bugs was downstairs playing some computer game. I was upstairs doing my assignment. Then I remembered that it was almost dinner time and I better turn the rice cooker on. I put the laptop aside and as I tried to stand up, I fell down. I didn't realise that I was sitting with my right foot under my bottoms for quite a while and all the blood circulation had stopped ( I have to work harder on losing that weight !)

I dropped with a thud and twisted my foot. Bugs obviously heard it cos he yelled to find out if everything was ok. I was suddenly in so much pain that I couldn't even call out to let him know and I was sure that even though after hearing the 'thud' he asked if I was ok, he is not going to come upstairs leaving his computer if I don't call him. He loves those games and its hard to tear him from the computer/PSP/Wii etc. And since he is allowed to play it on Friday night, its even harder as he waits all week patiently to play his quota of hours.

But surprisingly after a few seconds I heard footsteps on the stairs and he appeared near the living room door. I was so relieved to see him making the right choice. Not just assuming that I am ok when I didn't reply to him. But he came, one look at me on the floor and asked what happened and how can he help. I told him that I twisted my foot trying to stand up and if he can just massage it a little, it should be fine and I should be able to get up.

He quickly sat down near my foot and told me to let him know the amount of pressure he is putting is ok or if I want him to increase or decrease it. A few minutes later, I was up on my feet again.

I felt so good that he dropped what he was doing (even though that was his favourite game) just to confirm that I was really ok. Makes me feel so proud of him when I see such actions from him. It may not sound such a big deal but it is a big deal because we have had so many arguements when he doesn't put his games down to have dinner etc. But it was so satisfying to see that he still has enough sense to realise when it could be an energency and he didnt wait even a second longer in that situation to let go of his game to check on a family member.

I am proud of you my boy.